The Demands of a Frustrated Pakistani

I live in a country where millions of rupees are spent on 3G commercials knowing the fact that majority owns a 3k torch mobile not because they are poor or living below the line of poverty or underpaid due to lack of career opportunities but they are continuously fantasized by the gama and beta rays of their cell phone torch.

Before I share my Demands I would like to give a public service message to all our politicians who dedicate their lives for this nation that the total current population of this country is more than 20 corers not 16 kindly update your software we don’t believe in protection.

Now as I am frustrated and a Pakistani here are my demands which should be entertained on immediate basis else ill call up a Tremor March accompanied by several Gullu minions.

First of all I demand a Vigo with at least four guards so I can roll in my city like a gangsta.

Second I want a 1000 pages PARCHI diary so every time I go to a government hospital, Job Interview or get arrested by cops I tare a page from that magical diary and Parchify my way out.

Third I am not a marketing person but when it comes to religion I got some skills I also want to sell religion on air in Ramadan as my masters was in advertising and public relations I can be helpful for all the brands associated with it as well.

Fourth is that I need media coverage while I protest for the people of Palestine and ambush US and Israel. It is pertinent to mention here that I won’t talk on IDPs, Syria, Iraq, Egypt or even the recent Thar incident. Thar is a very hot place and a desert and if I speak on Thar all the time I might not get the attention by my misguided emotional Pakistani citizens.

Fifth, I am a patriotic Pakistani and I love my country but I love my khala more who lives in Canada. The Canadian embassy has rejected my visa 3 times due to my forged immigration documents. I immediately demand a special permission to visit my Khala as she is not well and she might catch up with flu due to extreme weather conditions so I have to see her and her daughter of course. I will not marry her daughter for a Canadian citizenship I swear *Period*

I want my demands to be considered and fulfilled by the concerned authorities on immediate basis else prepare yourself for a Tremor March where millions of jumping and hopping minions with a 7 foot lolly Pop stick will brutally crack your car’s windscreen.

If you don’t want to witness a nation driving cars without windscreens kindly, please, I beg you to consider my demands.

If after reading my lame and pathetic demands you feel like killing or abusing me kindly search on

Facebook: Zainulabideen (Deenz) or Zain.Deenz

Twitter: @Zainulabideenz

P.S, I am an attention seeker kindly share this with ten people and you might win a Kion Mobile!